Murio’s Trophy Room
1811 Haight Street
San Francisco, CA 94117
The word “Murio’s” will get one of two reactions:
- What? Why? Never. Ew. Gross. What’s wrong with you?
2. Did we just become best friends?
And so lies the frustrating duality of what might be San Francisco’s best—or worst—dive bar.
Let’s go ahead and get in front of the bad:
It’s usually either super quiet (and kind of sad), or packed (and kind of annoying). It’s not exactly what one would consider to be “clean”—at least not by Bay Area standards. There will almost always be a loud, drunk white girl slurring her way through what we can only assume was a bottle of Andre’s. Sometimes, the crowd can get a little douchey.
And now, the good:
Dogs are allowed inside, which suddenly makes the super quiet really nice, or the packed tolerable (be honest: if you did fall in love at a bar, it would probably be the person in the corner singing Journey to the Labrador while everyone else is doing shots.)
Speaking of music, the jukebox is totally on point. Two albums of Belle & Sebastian? Yes, please. (Shut up, they’re a great band.) It’s dirt cheap. In fact, no, it’s better than that. It’s filth cheap: Happy hour from noon to 7pm, and everyone else’s happy hour prices for a cocktail the rest of the time. The bartender takes great pride in offending those who offend easily. They have Pliny the Elder. Don’t know it? You should. Did we mention dogs are allowed inside?
So… go. We think. We don’t know you and the market research we’ve done here suggests you’re a pretty classy person. But everyone needs a Divine Brown to their Liz Hurley, and Murio’s just might be yours.